The History of Marriage
Statistically, women are financially worse off than men after a divorce or relationship separation occurs because we generally earn less than our male partners.
Why is this still an issue for women?
I believe the reason we are less financially independent than our male partners runs much deeper than just how much we earn relative to men. It’s ancestral.
Let me explain…
Legally speaking, marriage is simply a contract. This contract is essentially economic and it’s been this way since the dawn of time.
Historically, a marriage contract was never about love, it was about ownership, naming rights, and property.
Around the time of the eleventh century, English common law established that a married couple was one person under the law. That person was the husband.
The wife was considered chattel (a means to create heirs) and she was deemed to have given up all legal rights once she became married, even the right to her children.
From the date of her marriage, she was legally dead and subject to the rules of coverture. Under coverture, a married woman was unable to own property or sign legal documents. All earnings from her work were considered her husband’s and she was not even allowed to obtain further education without her husband’s permission. When a wife became widowed or even divorced, she received no financial protection unless an additional property or prenuptial agreement had been entered into beforehand (a luxury for the wealthy only).
Elements of coverture existed up until the early 1970s in USA. That’s nine hundred years of financial repression!
Coverture was gradually overturned thanks to the women’s rights movements of the 19th century onwards.
These days, family law protects women’s rights to financial independence, but it’s still clunky.
On the one hand we have no fault divorce where all assets (and debts) incurred during a marriage or partnership are, by default, divided 50:50 between the parties because contributions of a home-maker are considered just as valuable as the breadwinner’s. Thank you again to the women who fought for this right in the generations before us! Beware if your partner has a gambling or spending problem as you’re liable for half of his debts - another reason to ensure you are across your family finances.
On the other hand, how are you to determine the value of those assets unless there is financial transparency? The odds are stacked in favour of the party who controls the money.
When I separated from my husband, I didn’t have control. I had no idea of our financial position and once we were facing divorce, I didn’t expect my husband to willingly disclose it. As a finance professional, I should have known better. It was a vulnerable position to be in and I don’t want that for you.
Why do we allow ourselves to be in these vulnerable positions? It’s our ancestral conditioning.
My point is, when you look back over the last one thousand years, for ninety percent of that time: women had little legal rights when it came to money; we were trained to be submissive; and we were never taught the finer details of how to manage money, negotiate contracts or build investments.
Nine hundred years is a very long time. Women having a legal right to financial independence is a relatively new experience! We are one of the first generations to benefit from this.
Men have been practicing money for thousands of years. They’ve had role models to look up to and expectations made clear to them. Without having had any of this ourselves, it’s understandable that we sometimes find money overwhelming, so don’t be so hard on yourself about money mistakes of the past. Realise that you now have options - that’s why I’m here.
We can change our ancestral conditioning. Awareness is the first step. Emotionally and energetically, we can to adapt and learn the skills of self worth, negotiation and wealth creation. This is why I created Love Luck Wealth - because money is more than just finance, it’s emotional.
The moral to this story is, whether you’re married or not:
There has never been a better time in history to be a woman. Have gratitude for the women who paved the way for the legal rights we have today.
Knowledge is power. Get accross your family finances and always have a plan for your financial future. It’s not your fault that you weren’t taught about money when you were younger but it is your fault if you choose not to do something about it now. I’m here to teach you.
Always have your own stash of cash or better yet, your own investments, so that you can make your own choices and have the freedom to live the life you desire.
Remember, you are more capable than you think! Any doubt you may have about your ability to build wealth is purely an old story you’ve inherited from the women of generations before you who didn’t have the opportunities you have today. Let the doubt go and step into your power. You are just as deserving as anyone on the planet of building massive wealth. Ask questions and take part in financial decisions.
Julia Scott is an intuitive money mentor and finance professional. Working with Julia helps you to earn more, become confident investing and align with money in a whole new way. Work with Julia HERE.
Legal Note: Information provided by Love Luck Wealth is factual in nature and does not take into consideration your personal financial situation. It is for educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice nor financial product advice in any way. Remember, the value of any investment can go down as well as up. Before acting, you should consider seeking independent personal financial advice that is tailored to your needs from an appropriately licensed or authorised financial adviser.